when life had begun
i was woven and spun
you let the angels dance around your throne

woven and spun, nicole nordeman



today we saw our baby for the first time.

*tears* and i really don't have the words to express how deeply joyful i was and still am.

the first thing i thought was
look for the heartbeat. please God, let us see the heartbeat.

"sometimes we can't see them this early", our friend said. "or it won't look like much, but it's worth a try."

as she put it on my belly and started looking around she said, "there's your little munchkin."

and there it was. a little head, a round body - and a heartbeat.

the longer that we looked at it, the more joyful i became. and i was thanking God, praising Him for allowing our love to be creative, praising Him that our baby has a strong heartbeat, praising Him for letting ariel and i enjoy this together. (when you're married to a doctor, you just assume that your spouse will miss out on some things - but he didn't miss out - we were right there together.)

and the longer that i looked at it i started to think; imagine how excited i am, how joyful i am to be seeing this little baby growing inside of me. this whole time, i was going on faith, trusting that everything was being taken care of, believing even though i didn't see. and when i finally did see, what joy completely overcame my whole soul . . .

and then i imagined my death - and my judgment - and finally seeing the One that i had believed in even though i hadn't seen . . .

how peaceful our baby looks. so peaceful. my heart grew by leaps and bounds today for the pro-life movement, who attempt to keep that peace uninterrupted.


today i think that our baby will be the most loved child ever to have been born. i think that every child that the Lord blesses us with will be the luckiest child in the world to be loved as much as we love this baby today.

and i love ariel. i loved him so much when he was standing there next to me - i always used to ask myself, 'how do you love your spouse more when you have kids together'? but now i think i understand.

we met our baby today. i think this is the happiest feeling i've ever had. even just to know that my body will allow a baby to grow until the heart starts beating - it's quite possibly the greatest gift i have ever received.