lay my bones at the feet of the ministry
i need the guilt and the company
i need the chance to be judged
and then long forgotten

these bones, dashboard confessional


things are so different now that i'm having a baby. the girls at work keep saying, 'just wait until you have this baby, your whole life is going to change.' i haven't said it yet, i just let them give me their advice, but my whole life completely changed when i found out that i was pregnant, and continues to change more every single day.

i really miss ariel. he's been working so much, and when we are both at home, i'm so sick that i don't want to be touched or held, so we're basically like roommates. roommates who don't see each other often enough. i miss him.


man, do i love this baby. i mean, right now, i think i've come the closest i've ever come to understanding the love that God the Father has for us. and just to think, i'm just on the edge of it, i have a lifetime of understanding left to seek about that type of love.

to be honest, the whole puking and nausea thing, getting really old. but i was standing in the kitchen last night cooking some dinner and i turned around and pictured a little baby in a high chair with a bib on, cheerios on the tray, laughing and talking with me - i can't wait. but for right now, i really can't wait until this morning sickness is done. it's the worst. i haven't had a real meal in three weeks. i have literally been eating crackers and applesauce every single day for the past three weeks. until last night . . .

2 pieces of buttered toast
+1 serving of spagetti
----------------------------
a spagetti sandwich - and tears of joy because it was the best thing i've tasted in three weeks. =)