i. am. exausted.

baby has been making a habit of waking up at midnight and not sleeping until three. then she wakes again at five or so and is awake for another two hours. at around 10 she gets the hiccups. if i lay on one side, she kicks because that's the side her legs are on and i'm squishing them. if i lay on the other side, she kicks because she has so much room on the other side. (i have to invent reasons for her kicking. otherwise i get annoyed.) even when ariel is home and he puts his hand on my belly, he can't believe how strongly she kicks now. it's borderline painful. what is really painful are the contractions that i've had at night if i've been too active during the day. and i secretly hope every time they come that it will be the night that the baby is born. but i'm still pregnant. *sigh*

i miss ariel.
i wish the weather would clear up. although it is nice sleeping weather.
i want a drive thru grocery that sells just the essentials. including ice cream.
i miss my family.
i feel like i'm at a transitional point in my life that hasn't quite begun yet but that i have to prepare myself for now because i don't really know when it's coming.
i feel alot older than i am; but i'm hoping that my body will remember that it's only 23 when the baby comes, hopefully it will make it easier to get back into shape.

this change is completely different than when i got married. it feels more life changing. it's intimidating. and it's upon ariel and i now.

*sigh* baby has the hiccups. i'm telling her to hold her breath, but it's not working =)