things that make me cry now that i'm engaged . . .


1. lyrics to the title track from the new train cd:

"Take my hand in the mean time, let's walk in to the sunshine. Everybody got something that they wanna sing about, laugh about, cry about, it's true, for me it's you. "

2. prayer that the priest says at the wedding when the sponsors put the veil and cord over ariel and i (thanks, anna - i was reading it and crying!)

(reader / celebrant reads as Veil Sponsors place veil over couple's shoulders): Lord, with this veil, which represents this couple's union and mutual surrender to each other, may you always protect (names of couple) from any harm and strengthen them to provide continuous moral and spiritual support to each other and their children. May they remain loyal helpmates to each other as they carry life’s burden with joy.
(reader / celebrant reads as Cord Sponsors place cord over couple's shoulders): Lord, with this cord, may the bond of love and friendship uniting (names of couple) grow stronger over the years. May they remain united to you all their lives knowing, loving and serving in each other and the community.

3. cake toppers and champagne flutes. there is a cake topper called 'first dance' that makes me cry. and champagne flutes. *sigh*

4. the thought of watching 'father of the bride'. just the thought of watching it, not actually watching it.

the only thing that i can hope is that i'll get it all out of my system before september. because if the wedding were today, i don't know how i would get through it without crying uncontrollably. *sigh*

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do in your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes your with joy and gratitude. Fall in love; Stay in love; and it will decide everything."

"though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not."

- c. s. lewis



i wake up.
i brush my teeth.
i sing in the shower.
i get dressed.
i drink some coffee.
well, okay, alot of coffee.
and then i study.

sometimes i go to mass.
i eat lunch.
i daydream, imagine and plan.
i watch tv.
i check my email.


i call ariel.
i cook dinner.
we watch tv.
we laugh.
we eat something sweet.
we kiss.
we go to bed.



God doesn't sleep.

God creates.

He moves.

He inspires.

He perfects.

He lifts up.

He forgives.


i know i'm not God.
and it's most obvious to me in the way that i love.
or maybe i should say in the way that i don't love.
because that's all He does.
it's everything He does.
it's Who He is.





and everything that God accomplishes is evidence to me that love is the most powerful thing in the whole world. money could never raise someone from the dead. power and prestige never give up their existence in order that you can have the fullness of life. sex by itself is not capable of keeping a couple married for the rest of their lives.

but love - real, tough, self-sacrificial love -

it animates us.
completes us.
it motivates us.


"so now, these three remain; faith, hope and love.

but the greatest of these is love."

four days.

23 hours.

47 minutes.




engaged.

*sigh*



268 days.



married.

*sigh*

i stole this from lou . . . but it's been so long since i've done a survey! yay!


01. You have 10 bucks and need to get snacks at a gas station. What do you get? starbucks iced coffee, gum and as much chocolate as i can
02. IF YOU WERE REINCARNATED AS SOME SORT OF SEA DWELLING CREATURE, WHAT WOULD YOU BE? a starfish
03. WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE REDHEAD? my sistas
04. WHAT DO YOU ORDER WHEN YOU'RE AT AN IHOP? umm those stuffed crepe things mmmmmm so good
05. LAST BOOK YOU READ? the dialogues of st catherine of sienna
07. DESCRIBE YOUR FAVORITE PAIR OF UNDERWEAR. scandalous! love me some vs pink boyshorts
08. DESCRIBE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE INJURED? when i tore my pec last year
09. OF ALL YOUR FRIENDS, WITH WHOM WOULD YOU WANT TO BE STUCK IN A WELL? probably my dad actually
10. ROCK CONCERT, OR SYMPHONY? symphony
11. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE? a picture of jesus
12. SODA? umm coffee please
13. FLAVOR OF PUDDING? chocolate with chocolate chips . . . mmmmm
14. COLOR OF SHIRT YOU'RE WEARING? what shirt . . . haha jk it's grey
15. PRESCRIPTION MEDICATION? i'm off of meds right now! yay!
16. IF YOU COULD USE ONLY ONE FORM OF TRANSPORTATION FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE? a land rover
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? cd of gary for next weekend's thing
20. MOST RECENT MOVIE YOU'VE WATCHED IN THEATERS? umm . . . that new russell crow movie i think was the last one i saw . . .
21. IF YOU COULD INVENT ONE THING, WHAT WOULD IT BE? a money tree
22. NAME AN ACTOR/ACTRESS YOU'VE HAD THE HOTS FOR: love me some jake gyllenhall
23. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE CITY? chicago or rome
24. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CAKE? auuugghhhh i hate cake! i only love blueberry muffins!
25. WHAT'S THE FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO MIND RIGHT NOW? love!
26. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM IN PERSON? umm a couple of weeks ago
28. WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR DINNER LAST NIGHT? ariel made pork chops and rice
29. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN RESIDING IN THE CURRENT CITY YOU LIVE IN? four years
31. WHAT'S THE LAST THING YOU SAID OUTLOUD? "Amen" i was at mass
32. LOOK TO YOUR LEFT. WHAT DO YOU SEE? pillows
33. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON THAT SPENT $100 ON YOU? ariel

SAD SECTION
01. Have you ever really cried your heart out?: yup
02. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?: yeah
03. Have you ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: yeah
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex?: umm yeah
05. Do you cry when you get an injury?: only injuries to the heart =(
06. Do certain songs make you cry?: lately every single song is making me cry

HAPPY SECTION
01. Are you a happy person?: of course
02. What can always make you happy?: chocolate
03. Do you wish you were happier?: of course
04. Is being happy overrated?: umm . . . .
05. Can music make you happy?: every day

HATE SECTION
01. Who do you actually hate?: dakota fanning
02. Have you ever made a hit list?: umm . . .
03. Have you ever been on a hit list?: if i ever was, they did a crappy job bc i'm still here
04. Are you a mean bully?: i used to be
05. Do you hate George Bush?: *shrugs* not particularly

SELF ESTEEM SECTION
01. Do you think you are good looking?: today i am
02. Do you wish you could be someone else? not really

APPEARANCE
01. Current hair color? blonde/brown/red
02. Whats your natural color?: blonde/brown/red
03. What color are your eyes?: hazel
05. Straight Hair or Curls?: curly and girly

CURRENTLY WEARING.
01. What shirt are you wearing?: a grey tank
02. Shorts/pants?: jeans
03. Shoes?: wool socks
04. Necklaces?: nope

THIS OR THAT
01. Rock or rap?: both
03. Wild night out or romantic night in?: both
05. Hummer or Sports Car?: land rover
06. Bracelet or Necklace?: necklace
07. History or Science?: history
08. Sleep in or early to rise?: early every day
09. Beach or Boardwalk?: both
10. Hoodie or Tee Shirt?: t under a hoodie
11. Night or Day?: day
12. High School or College?: well since both experiences have been so unbelievably fulfilling . . .
13. California or Florida?: i've never been to cali
14. Love at first sight or learn to love?: i think it was first sight

HAVE YOU EVER
01. Hugged someone?: umm
02. Been on the phone until the sun came up?: *giggles* yup
03. Put a song on repeat for more than an hour?: umm no
04. Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: no

LASTS
01. Last person you talked to in person: lady at church
02. Person you talked to online?: matt
03. Person you talked to on the phone?: my sister greta
04. Person you texted?: ariel a long time ago
05. Person to text you?: probably ariel

MISC. SECTION
01. Do you like surveys?: of course!
02. What kind of shampoo do you use?: something that's supposed to control the frizz in curls . .
03. You get along with your parents?: yeah
04. Do you have mental breakdowns?: no i mean i cry and get upset but then i eat chocolate and i feel better
05. Did you ever fake being sick?: umm okay yeah i have

CURRENT
01. Current mood?: excited
02. Current music?: country/folk/indie
03. Current hair?: soon to be clean
04. Current desktop picture?: my sister anna mary

"oh, and yes, as a matter of fact, i am saving myself for wild, passionate and awkward honeymoon sex."

here are a few pictures from thanksgiving at home . . .





anna mary

ariel and i

thanksgiving morning

sarah bridget greta and anna mary

here are some funny things:

1. my second toe is longer than my first. i mean significantly longer. nina says at least they aren't ugly. but they're still kind of freakish.
2. i am completely incapable of making those snowflakes that you cut out of paper. even if i make the paper square first.
3. i sweat more than ariel does. or maybe my sweat just smells worse. but i really think i just sweat more.
4. my kneecaps are so small. and they are a perfect triangle.
5. i hate cake. on my birthday, my mom makes me blueberry muffins instead of cake.
6. when i eat m&ms, i eat them two at a time, and only in colors that match. if i have one left over in my hand, i bite it in half to make two pieces.
7. i've never seen the movie titanic. mostly because i don't want to see kate winslet's boobs.
8. right now i weigh exactly 110 lbs. and during the winter i have to stop exercising to keep a little extra weight on.
9. i won a spelling bee when i was in 8th grade and i went on to state finals, where i took fourth
=( but that's okay because the same year i won first in flute solo.
10. i'm the only person in my family that has green eyes.