to date, being a wife and a mother are the two biggest challenges i've ever tried to tackle. when i sat down to write this blog, i started to think of the phrase 'working mother'. it made me think that anyone who works outside of the home could give you a brief description of their job. . . 'i'm a nurse in the icu. i make rounds on the patients every couple of hours and address their needs. it's difficult at times, but it's pretty much the same thing every day.' . . . or 'i'm a janitor at a school, just cleaning up after the kids all day.' but how do you begin to describe what you do as a mother and a wife? when i first started staying home, ariel would come home and ask me what i did all day, and all i could do was stare at him because i couldn't think of one productive thing i had done that day, but i felt as though i had run a hundred miles.

i hate it when women say that they 'just' stay at home. 'i'm just a stay at home mom.' it makes me want to puke. i understand the feeling of wanting to apologize for not being able to contribute financially in a world that is run by money, but i believe firmly that if moms were paid for their jobs, we'd make more money than anyone else in the whole world. because it's not simply having babies and loving my husband . . .

it's sacrificing my own shower so that my husband can take one before we leave.
it's making sure the laundry is done.
it's planning far enough in advance to have the best dinners on the days that he works the hardest.
it's anticipating that the baby is going to cry before she does so that she never has to.
it's dusting and sweeping the floors.
it's cheering for the baby when she does anything at all.
it's reading to her even though she's can't understand it yet.
it's tivo-ing our favorite shows and not watching them until he gets home.

it's just a million little details that describe what i do for a living.

" evolution cannot be a possibility, because mothers still only have two hands " . . .

i went to an evening retreat recently and the priest was talking about how mothers are responsible for the spirituality of our families. he suggested that we form our children in two primary virtues; the male children in temperence, so that they learn self control from an early age, and the female children fortitude, so that when they become wives and mothers they can persist and persevere. i thought it was so interesting and so appropriate. because fortitude is the moral virtue that helps us acquire faith, which is the only thing that gets me through some days!

my babies are precious to me, they and my husband are the greatest joys in my life. nothing else seems to matter anymore . . .