but i always think that the best way to know God is to love many things.

vincent van gogh



new year's resolutions:

1. pray more, especially in adoration.
2. cook at home more often.
3. drink more water.
4. learn to see Jesus in people that annoy me.
5. become more flexible with my time.
6. love more, and deeper, especially Jesus.
7. read 10 books.
8. sing more, even if it's just at home.
9. keep up with the laundry.
10. hug ariel more often.

this was one of the longest weeks of my life.

i miss my husband. we barely saw each other this week. and it was one of those weeks that we needed to see each other to get through it.

we set the c-section date for june 10th. ariel's brother is getting married on june 7th. the c-section is actually only one week early. and that makes me a little nervous. if the baby came today, i would be okay with that. it's just that my body doesn't do what it should. and so i get nervous.

work is . . . . stressful. really stressful.

the baby is getting alot bigger and we're anxious for ariel to be able to feel it move, as i can feel the baby moving more and more every day.

we're stressing out majorly about where ariel is going to work after he is done in august. we have good options, but it's such a huge decision. and there's so much involved.

my clothes don't fit. i feel like a snowman - round all over the middle, a huge belly and huge boobs and tiny sticks for arms and legs. i feel like i look funny. but people just keep saying, 'oh, you're soooo cute. cute cute cute'. and that word doesn't make me very happy. maybe it's just that i'm not myself.

and i think i ate my entire weight this week. i was 110 when we got married. a week ago i was 114. today i am 118. four more pounds, and i will weigh more than i have ever weighed in my whole life.

i can't wait to go to colorado with ariel. i haven't been there in a very long time.

and i'm sooooo happy that the nausea is over. now if only i could fight this pain and fatigue . . . .

and now i'm sunny with a high of 75
since you took my heavy heart and made it light

high of 75, relient k



ariel and i went shopping last night for a few big belly clothes. i ended up getting a pair of leggings and three jersey dresses, which i would never wear in my normal life. but the cute clothes that i want aren't comfy and are really expensive for pregnant women, so jersey dresses and leggings it is.

it made me a little sad to see that my boobs and belly are too big for normal clothes. in fact, my boobs and belly are too big for my body. *shrugs* maybe my idea of physical beauty has to evolve. . .

i'm feeling alot better, no nausea and it's been almost a week since the last time i puked. alot of increased back pain, i think it's due to the growth in my ligaments, since i've only gained a few pounds. the baby is moving alot, and it waved to us and opened it's mouth a few times in the last ultrasound we had, which was so cute!

three more weeks and we'll be half way done with this pregnancy. i'm going to be a mom.